Wines for people who hate wine.
HAVE YOU BEEN INVITED TO A FANCY-ASS DINNER PARTY? DO YOU THINK WINE TASTES SHITTY AND YOU CAN’T SEE WHY PEOPLE THINK SIPPING NASTY-ASS CRAP IS CLASSY?
WELL PULL UP YOUR BRITCHES, BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO EDUCATE YOUR PEASANT ASS.
HERE ARE SOME WINES THAT EVEN WINE-HATERS CAN EASILY LEARN TO LOVE!
THEY’RE MORE FRUITY, LESS FULL OF TANNINS AND ARE PERFECT FOR EITHER PEOPLE WANTING TO GET INTO NICE WINES, OR WHO HAD BAD EXPERIENCE WITH SHITTY WINE.
TANNINS: Bitter, and make your mouth feel dry
ACIDS: Sour, and make you salivate
SWEETNESS: Obviously sweet. These three traits are generally determined by the type of grape and how long it was allowed to ripen on the vine before harvesting.
ALCOHOL: Also makes a wine sweeter. Alcohol content for wine usually falls between 5% and 20%
(NOTE: Actual Champagne is a super-specific type of sparkling wine made from the special grapes grown in the Champagne region of France, and underwent a second fermentation to get bubbly as well as adhered to France’s crazy strict regulations. Many people I know will call any sparkling white wine ‘Champagne’ - It has acheived ‘Generic Trademark’ statues, meaning people will use that type of product with the specific brand interchangeably, like ‘Kleenex’ and facial tissues. Unless each bottle costs close to 100$, I highly doubt you’re drinking real Champagne. )
Moscato: ”Barefoot” brand Pink Moscato is fucking delicious. Tastes a bit like grape, strawberry, peach and red apple had a strange, mildly alcoholic baby. Usually around 5-10% alcohol content. Works terrific as a Dessert wine, and accents anything ‘Creamy’ really well. Slightly bubbly. #1 recommended wine for newbies.
Normal Moscato is also delicious as hell, a bit more citrus-y.
Zinfandel: White Zinfandel especially is super mild in taste, mildly sweet, fruity. (Don’t let the name fool you - it’s colored pink!) It’s the kind of wine that you accidentally gulp down like juice, because it doesn’t kick you in the throat with a strong taste or immediate alcoholic burn. Around 15% alcohol.
I shit you not, I buy it by the huge-ass jug. As long as you get a good top to reseal it, it’ll last a hella long time after opening.
Normal Zinfadel is also delicious, but White is definitely an introductory wine.
Cava: Spanish Sparkling Wine. Vaguely bubbly, light, Kinda lemony and pear-ish and a little bitter. Don’t expect sweetness. ‘Asda’ brand is excellent, I like it for winter holiday dinners.
Prosecco: Basically a poor-man’s Champagne. It is a wine for any occasion; Dinner, Chillaxing, Sharing with friends, whatever. ~12% alcohol. Mild fruit flavors (Like pear and apricot), and you can also choose whether you want fully-sparkling or partial-sparkling (How much you want it to bubble)
Italians love this shit enough to sell it in cans.
Because nothing says ‘Love’ like aluminum containers.
Unfortunately, it grows stale in the bottle after 2 years or so. Gotta drink it right after buying~
Asti: Sweet!…and sour? Interesting flavor. Not sweet like candy, but…like well-ripened fruit. Good dessert wine. Often has a flowery, nutty kind of smell and a hint of that in the flavor as well. Best served chilled, and NOT AGED. If left in the bottle for more than two years, it deteriorates quickly and loses the nice fruity flavors. Blech.
Reisling: This wine is fruity, but highly acidic. It goes well with strongly-spiced and aromatic dishes, like Thai or things with Allspice/Cinnamon. Excellent taste, but some Aged versions have a faint smell like gasoline, which may turn newbies off. 8-10% Alcohol.
Muscat: HELLA FUCKING SWEET. Like, kicks you in the throat with sweetness. Definitely a dessert wine. Not something I would drink a glass of, without something to eat between sips. ~15% alcohol. Alternately, you could pour a bit of Muscat into a stronger, more bitter glass of wine to make a balanced flavor.
Also a passive-aggressive reminder that all radical queers need to get on with boosting and fighting for lgbt immigration issues, especially in the UK where it’s reached Monty Python levels of oppressive absurdity. Seriously very few people know that judges legitimately ask questions like “have you read Oscar Wilde?” and “do you use sex toys?” to lgbtq asylum seekers from countries that have the death penalty for being out, believing the UK to be this beacon of tolerance and queer politics, and I find it revolting that many are not making this a primary concern in queer activism.
i concur and also want to recommend ASAP (http://www.asaproject.org/) who offer free legal advice and representation to asylum seekers who need to appeal. a dual-qualified solicitor/barrister from my firm volunteers for them and has represented clients pro-bono. you don’t need to live in london to use them.
if your icon is facing the left it means youre gay
So, if people at Dashcon can raise 17k in 30 minutes to save their con…
can a couple people donate a couple dollars to me and my family? We’re losing our home and quite possibly all of our possessions because we’ll have nowhere to put them. That’s all I’m asking…